Hymen's Boeuf and the CIA

["Gregoire de Nowell (ci-devant)" <GN842@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

CIA = Culinary Institute of America (Poughkeepsie, NY)

Chef:  Would you like some boeuf, monsieur?
HB:  Acutally I prefer vegetables.
Chef: Yes, Monsieur, we have nouvelle cuisine, a little
sauce, perhaps?
HB:  You chefs are all the same.
Chef: Monsieur?  We have French, Chinois, Mexicaine, Nouvelle,
Ancienne, Indienne, whatever you want.  But we study under
different schools.
HB: Naw, you all start from the same premise.  Stuff between
the teeth?
Chef: Ah monsieur, a little recductionist, peut-etre?  Perhaps
some cervelle d'agneau to fill the gaps?
HB:  No, I'll take a Larouche burger.
Chef: Well done, bordering on burned.
HB: Yes, that would do.  And make sure I get a BIG Larouche
burger.  Big enough to post on PKT.  To make my point.
Chef: And ze point, monsieur?
HB: You chefs are all the same.  Preparers of mastication.  Your
schools mean nothing.
Chef: Really, monsieur...il faut gouter...a little cervelle.
HB: If you chefs did your job right there would be no poverty.
You should hand the food you cook out to whomever wants it.
It's your fault the world is screwed up.  Especially the
CIA.
Chef: Monsieur does not see some political implications?
HB: No, it's easy.  I'm going to find a bunch of chefs on
the internet and yell at them.  That will fix you guys real
good.  I know you're all part of the same conspiracy.
Chef: Ze chefs?
HB: Tyrants all!
Chef: Please monsieur, explain, ze problem, with Indienne,
ou Mexicaine, ou Americaine, cuisine?
HB: I don't know a damned thing about any of them.  It's
all a conspiracy and it all ends up in the same damn shit.
So don't bug me with the details.   Just listen to me rave,
I'm a very smart guy.
Chef: About cuisine?
HB: No, mastication, the source of all human civilization.  From
mastication we derive Kant, Plato, Confucius, and most of all
Larouche whose clarity of thought epitomizes my own.
Chef: Monsieur, do you have anything to say aobut cuisine.
HB: No, mastication.
Chef: Then what are you doing on a cook's listserv?
HB: Masticating every which way.
Chef: I see.  Well, thank you Monsieur, and please
don't lean over the soup...
HB: Elitist univeristy=educated smelly lazy jerk!

Greg Nowell