[Pen-l] Larry Perelman, RIP

[michael perelman <michael@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

I just returned from my father’s funeral. He died at 98.

When I was young, we were not particularly close. He more than 
encouraged me to become interested in business and to participate at the 
Temple. I was totally disinterested in both activities, preferring to 
play sports. As I grow older, we became closer, even though we lived 
3000 miles apart. As he grew very old we became much closer.

When he was about 92, he began to have balance problems. Not only did he 
have to give up golf, but he suffered frequent falls. His bruised body 
looked like must have played upon a game of professional football the 
day before.

He resisted using a cane, then proved equally resistant when he had to 
use a walker. Yet, at each stage, he would tell me about how much he 
liked his new cane with new walker. The wheelchair he lifted the same 
response.

When I would talk to him on the phone, he would tell me he was doing 
just fine. Later, his wife, Frances, would tell me about the latest 
fall. An operation to remove cancer from his intestines he described as 
a little thing. Yet when I arrived in town the next day, he looked 
terrible. I was sure he was going to die. The following day he was 
demanding to leave the hospital because of his dissatisfaction with the 
food. He loved to eat!

He loved my mother, but he loved his second wife Frances better. Losing 
my mother and my brother in quick succession, followed by a long period 
of sadness and withdrawal, led him to an astonishing ability to 
appreciate everything.

He suffered the indignities of old age with incredible dignity. And he 
learned how to appreciate even the smallest pleasures. When I would call 
he would tell me about what a wonderful time he had, when Veronica, one 
of his two wonderful caregivers, wheeled him in his chair and he got to 
see some ducks on a nearby pond. It was as if he had great adventure 
they had given him incredible joy.

We went to Florida a couple weeks ago. I figured it would be our last 
time. Sadly I was right.

A series of mini-strokes made speech difficult. You could start a 
conversation pretty well, but after a few minutes he was slurring. He 
apologized for the speech, but there was nothing he could do. A strong 
mind was trapped in a failing body.

The last time we spoke on the phone me neither of us could understand 
the other. It was a very sad occasion.

The next day another mini stroke and a one-day visit to the hospital. A 
couple days later, he surprised everybody with his energy. He made a 
series of phone calls to grandchildren and his only surviving brother 
and then spent the rest of day holding hands with his wife. He was 
saying goodbye. On the next day he was gone, but he went on his own 
terms. I miss him.

Thanks to Frances, Susan, Bob, and Veronica and Vivian for giving him 
the extra good years, which he appreciated so much.

--

Michael Perelman
Economics Department
California State University
michael at ecst.csuchico.edu
Chico, CA 95929
530-898-5321
fax 530-898-5901
www.michaelperelman.wordpress.com

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