[Pen-l] Obama's polls

[Jim Devine <jdevine03@xxxxxxxxx>]

January 27, 2009

Poll: Obama Even More Awesome Than Originally Thought
Tops Leprechauns, Unicorns in New Poll

[Editor's Note: Recently, The Borowitz Report has received a number of
letters from readers complaining about columns that have seemed to
satirize the nation's 44th president.  These readers have pointed out
that with all of the challenges facing President Obama, the time for
such juvenile shenanigans is over.  At The Borowitz Report, our
response couldn't be clearer: "We hear you." In keeping with the
nation's new, post-satirical spirit, we offer the following column,
which represents the new and more positive direction we intend to
adopt for the next four years.]

One week into his Presidency, Barack Obama gets high marks in a new
poll, with a majority of Americans agreeing with the statement,
"Barack Obama is even more awesome than I originally thought."

The percentage of voters who believe that Mr. Obama is awesome surged
during his first week in office, with 82% thinking he is awesome now
compared to 77% who deemed him awesome last week.

And in the latest measure of his popularity, Mr. Obama receives higher
approval ratings in the new poll than either leprechauns or unicorns,
mythical beings that almost everyone agrees are totally awesome.

In a head-to-head contest, Mr. Obama beats leprechauns and unicorns
combined, garnering 64% compared to 21% for leprechauns, 14% for
unicorns, and 1% for  Congressman Ron Paul.

Mr. Obama remains wildly popular among women, with 72% of the women
polled saying that they have experienced longer, more powerful orgasms
since he was sworn in as President.

 "I definitely won't have to fake them like I did for the last eight
years," said housewife Tracy Klujian of Madison, Wisconsin, who
reported having an four-minute climax while watching the inauguration
on MSNBC.  "That's change I can believe in."

[by Andy Borowitz]

-- 
Jim Devine / "Segui il tuo corso, e lascia dir le genti." (Go your own
way and let people talk.) -- Karl, paraphrasing Dante.
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