[Pen-l] JOE THE PLUMBER

["Charles Brown" <charlesb@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

JOE THE PLUMBER
 
          Joe the plumber gets up at 6 am and fills his coffeepot with
water to prepare his morning coffee.  The water is clean and good
because some tree-hugging liberal fought for reasonable water quality
standards.
 
          With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily
medication.  His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie
liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised. 
All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical
plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid
medical insurance â now Joe gets it too.
 
           He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs.  Joe's
bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to
regulate the meat packing industry.
 
          In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo.  His
bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and the amount of the
total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know
what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.
 
          Joe dresses, walks outside, and takes a deep breath.  The air
he breathes is clean because some wacko environmentalist liberal fought
for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.
 
          He walks on the government provided sidewalk to the subway
station for his government subsidized ride to work.  It saves him
considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some
fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which
gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.
 
          Joe begins his work day.  He has a good job with excellent
pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays, and vacation because
some big city liberal union members fought and died for these working
standards.  Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer
doesn't want his employees to call the union.  If Joe is hurt on the
job, or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or
unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should
lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.
 
It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some
bills.  Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FDIC because some
godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers
who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.
 
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten mortgage and his below
market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that
Joe and the government might be better off if he was educated and earned
more money over his lifetime.  Joe also forgets that in addition to his
federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded
university.
 
Joe is home from work.  He plans to visit his father this evening at
his farm home in the country.  He gets in his car for the drive.  His
car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal
fought for car safety standards to go along with the taxpayer funded
roads.  He arrives at his boyhood home.  His was the third generation to
live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because
bankers didn't want to make rural loans.
 
The house didn't have electricity until some big government liberal
stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural
electrification.
 
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired.  His father lives on
Social Security and a union pension because some wine drinking, cheese
eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't
have to.
 
Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk
show.  The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and
conservatives are good.
 
He doesn't mention that those beloved Republicans have fought against
every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.
 
Joe agrees: "We don't need those big government liberals ruining our
lives!  After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take
care of themselves, just like I have!"

^^^
CB: Joe's got a Robinsonade illusion.



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