[Pen-l] blue screen of death nation

["Jim Devine" <jdevine03@xxxxxxxxx>]

Microsoft Ad Campaign Crashing Nation's Televisions

October 27, 2008 | Issue 44•44

WASHINGTON—According to an FCC report released Monday, a new $300
million Microsoft ad campaign is responsible for causing televisions
all across the country to unexpectedly crash.

Users have reported a number of failures resulting from the defective
commercials, ranging from inability to change channels to "couldn't
finish Heroes."

The Microsoft ads, which began airing earlier this week, are being
blamed for generating critical system errors in more than 70 million
televisions. In addition, thousands of frustrated Americans said that
the ads have caused their TVs to become unresponsive, their screens to
turn blue, and a small box with the message "terminal application
error" to suddenly appear.

"I was in the middle of watching Monday Night Football when, all of a
sudden, that stupid ad comes on and my TV freezes up," said
Scottsdale, AZ resident Michael Chaplin, adding that he never wanted
to see the commercial in the first place. "The next thing I know, all
these numbers and symbols show up and I get an error message saying
'invalid file format' or something. Now my TV is ruined."

The new ad campaign, which features footage of everyday Americans
using PCs, was launched as an upgrade to the poorly performing Jerry
Seinfeld and Bill Gates commercials, which suffered unspecified
failures in two-thirds of U.S. households. Microsoft pulled the
defective ads in mid-September, but the move came too late, as
countless televisions had already been infected with viruses and
spyware.

So far over a half million television users have complained about the
new ads. Some, such as Louisville, KY native Andrew Ryland, said they
were instructed by tech support to press and hold the power, mute, and
number seven buttons on their remotes in an attempt to shut down their
television sets.

When that failed, many television owners said they were left with no
other option but to manually restart their devices.

"I tried to push the power button, but nothing happened," said
Andover, CT resident David Lax, who claimed that his television has
never had any compatibility issues with commercials in the past.
"Luckily I called my buddy Todd, who's pretty good with televisions,
and he told me that you just have to unplug it and plug it back in."

Although the commercials crashed nearly every available brand of
plasma and LCD television, as well as afflicting older cathode-ray
models, Microsoft spokesperson Sarah Machen insisted that the problem
was not her company's fault, and that it likely resulted from low
memory, a fragmented disk, or perhaps an outdated video card. A press
release issued by the software giant also advised televisions users to
avoid quickly switching back and forth between programs to prevent any
future crashes.

"Our engineers have repeatedly tested this commercial to work out all
the bugs, and we proudly stand behind this advertisement," Machen
said. "We've heard numerous complaints about a virus, so we urge all
users to remember that there are untrustworthy cable channels out
there that they should never visit."

Chicago resident Rick Yoder, 33, said he brought the 36-inch Sony
Trinitron he purchased in 1999 into a licensed Microsoft dealer and
paid well over $1,000 to add a graphic accelerator card and new
motherboard that his television lacked.

"I took my TV into the store and they added a bunch of cards and stuff
so I can watch it again," Yoder said. "But the shows run really slow.
Now it takes me an hour and a half to get through an episode of
Scrubs. And sometimes this hourglass thing comes on the screen right
at a good part and, by the time it finally goes away, the show is
over."

In some cases, the frequent crashes have caused more than just
temporary hassles, with some Americans losing months of important
shows they had saved on their TiVos.

"I was watching Cold Case and it said 'show not found,'" Tim
Honnermann of Oakland said. "But I was watching the show. How is that
even possible?"

Recent frustrations with Microsoft have not been limited to its
television ads, however. Earlier this week, a billboard promoting the
company's latest Windows platform angered hundreds in Detroit when it
fell onto three cars, instantly killing all passengers.

-- 
Jim Devine /  "Nobody told me there'd be days like these / Strange
days indeed -- most peculiar, mama." -- JL.
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