news du jour

[Jim Devine <jdevine03@xxxxxxxxx>]

[by Andy Borowitz]

>At a press conference in Havana, the Cuban president said that he was
authorizing a flotilla of speedboats carrying Cuban spies to head for
the United States to orchestrate the overthrow of "The 700 Club."

While Mr. Castro was sketchy about the details of the plot, calling
them "super-secret," an insider familiar with the plan said that it
involves Cuban spies infiltrating Mr. Robertson's production staff and
audience and then staging an armed revolt during a broadcast of the
program.

"We'll wait until Pat Robertson is distracted, probably when he's
getting all worked up about gay marriage or something, and then we'll
strike," the insider said.

According to the insider, the Cuban president waited a few days before
deciding to overthrow "The 700 Club" because he was not sure at first
exactly what "The 700 Club" was.

"Fidel thought it was a club for people who weighed 700 pounds or
more," the insider said. "Then he was like, 'No, that can't be
right.'" <
-- 
Jim Devine
"Economics is the study of money and why it is good." -- Woody Allen