futtucine?

[Dan Scanlan <dscanlan@xxxxxxx>]

Alexi Bonifield is a local Nevada county CA activist who has been
working on the Kucinich campign., This is her report on the Iowa
caucus.

DON'T ORDER THE FETTUCINE: Iowa Presidential Caucus 2004


       I'm from California.  Politics here ranges in spirit and
style from Kabuki to Spielberg.  We Golden State folks just recalled
a poker-faced career politico, duly elected governor by a reasonable
percentage of the population, and replaced him with an inexperienced
B-Grade actor who smiles handsomely for the media cameras and can?t
pronounce the state's name.  Not much takes me by surprise,
politically-speaking.

       On January 7, I boarded AMTRAK in Colfax, CA, joining 30 or
so enthusiastic, passionately committed souls of all ages from across
the state, heading east on a "Peace Train" to support our Democrat of
choice in the Iowa Presidential Caucus.  We sang patriotic and
political songs, swapped diverse life tales and campaign
paraphernalia, and discovered how we all shared the same soul-felt
vision for world peace and justice embodied by our candidate.  When
we arrived in Osceola, Iowa, and shuttled the short distance to Des
Moines, we were all eager to stretch our wings and spread the gospel
of fearless paradigm change, and to participate in a grassroots,
unique aspect of American democracy in action ?the Iowa Caucus.

       We immersed ourselves in the exploding political scene:
canvassing neighborhoods in shifts, endlessly phone calling
"undecided?s" and likely supportive "1's and 2's" from computer
generated precinct lists, penning volumes of personal postcard notes,
working coffee receptions and speaking events -- and attending caucus
training sessions to learn about this upcoming process.  We
"grokked" the 15% viability concept and played pretend caucus using
musical genres in place of candidates (I lobbied successfully for the
"blues" preference group), learned about last minute voter
registration and the sanctity of the 7pm closed-door deadline for
inclusion in the official headcount, absorbed what chaos to expect
during "re-alignment", and how to propose resolutions for the state
platform.  Most importantly, we learned that as Californians we could
observe (but not vote in) the caucuses from the rear of the rooms,
wearing our t-shirts and campaign buttons, but not handing out
literature or stumping for our candidate (unless we were publicly
elected officials ourselves).  It was made very clear that only
Democrats duly registered in their specific precincts would be
included in the head count; all participants would have their names
checked against a master list upon entering the room and asked to
register immediately and provide verifiable residence if not on the
list. It sounded complicated, staff support heavy; but if lots of
Iowans regularly participate in the caucus process, I figured it must
work.  It wasn't until after the caucus that I learned what a tiny
percentage of Iowa residents actually participate.

       Observing the hordes of media folk swarming the pre-caucus
hubbub, I imagined all Iowa must take part.  In one day, I was
interviewed by the LA Times, NPR, SF Chronicle, the Christian Science
Monitor (quoted on their front page story as an out-of-state
volunteer), two radio stations, three alternative weeklies, and a
German internet news reporter.  This world-wide newsworthy event
would demonstrate how a large number of American citizens select
their presidential delegates in an honest-to-gosh functional
grassroots system!  With literally thousands of campaign volunteers
like myself pouring in, from many other states, Canada, Europe and
Japan, I hoped Iowa residents would feel honored, not overwhelmed, by
our presence in support of this first important step of the 2004
Presidential Campaign.

       After two days in Des Moines, I was sent to a to a small town
near the Minnesota border to assist the single paid campaign worker
for my candidate in a rural county.  Her greatest support appeared to
come from a handful of articulate, intelligent college students who
canvassed around class schedules and published their own newspaper
which presented the candidates? opinions on a wide range of issues
with more clarity than most major news media. After telephoning what
felt like every single possible supporter in the county at least 3
times, and canvassing quaint neighborhoods solo in single digit and
below temperatures for hours on end, I was so ready for the Big Event.

       At 6pm on Caucus Night, the campaign coordinator dropped me
off at the nearby college with flyers, stickers and placards, ready
to observe, oversee and persuade last minute "undecided's? entering
any of the 3 designated caucuses in the specific building. An out of
state native as well, the coordinator headed off to the caucus
located in the precinct where she resided, in hopes of getting
counted based on her several months? Iowa residence.  (I learned
later she participated unchallenged.)

       The aggressively enthusiastic "Take Back America" mob seemed
to be running the event and closely guarded the entrances to all
precinct rooms with extra campaign workers.  I set up my campaign
materials next to another candidate?s crew, a genuinely genial
cluster of out of state college lads, who confided privately that
they all preferred my candidate?s platform, but as "this senator had
paid for the trip to Iowa," they were working for him.

       By 6:30pm, the communal meeting space was bedlam. Lines of
impatient, cold people wound everywhere; over 50 people sprawled on
chairs and couches to fill out voter registration forms. I loaned out
at least 5 pens and found myself asked all sorts of questions about
the caucus and registration procedures. If there were any people in
charge of the caucus, independent of the one campaign?s staff and
volunteers, I never saw them.  As the crowd filed into the 3 assigned
rooms by 7pm, I decided to observe a precinct room where there was no
designated captain from my campaign, to cheer on (silently) our
supporters there. I moved to the back wall of the room and lowered my
large placard as the 3 college-age girls caucusing for my candidate
stared dejectedly at the loud, sign-waving members of other
preference groups hooting and stamping around them. They signaled me
to join them with panic in their eyes. I felt sure I'd be thrown out
summarily, but I couldn't resist climbing on to a chair behind the
girls and raising my placard and voice high in support of our
candidate. No one noticed, or offered objection, or asked to see
proof of my Iowa residence. I noticed numbers of people wandering in
and out the door randomly, joining one group or another, now way past
7pm.  When the 3 college girls "re-aligned" with another preference
group as instructed, I slipped out the door. I took a deep breath and
dived through the next precinct door, sure to be stopped. No one
noticed. My presidential preference group here, plentiful and rowdy,
waved me down to the middle of the room where I repeated my Chair
Performance of the previous room, much louder.  It felt like a San
Francisco Peace Rally! Chaos reigned supreme with much posturing from
several preference groups; heads were re-counted several times, given
the ebb and flow of people wandering in and out. I may have been
counted in the melee. I decided to try my luck in the third precinct
room.  Just as before, my preference group welcomed me with wild
abandon, and no one questioned my active presence. Our viability was
celebrated with delicious enthusiasm although the hostility and
resentment from several non-viable groups was palpable, particularly
from the one group who seemed to feel "entitled."  I almost got
counted again, insisting "not me" to avoid inclusion.  At the end, I
sauntered out into the lobby very puzzled and then distressed as I
realized I could have been counted in all 3 precincts if I'd chosen
to abuse the system (and may have been counted in one room, anyway).
A lot of other people had wandered in and out like me and weren?t
challenged. Were they counted? How was this fair and accurate?  Was
this scenario an isolated case of lax rule enforcement? Or was this
how it always works?  If so, what do the final delegate tallies
actually represent as a "legitimate" electoral indicator?

       When I got to my candidate's post-caucus celebration at a
local bar-restaurant, I learned to my dismay this sort of
"irregularity" had occurred elsewhere. In one precinct, our
preference group was viable at first count. After 7pm, a rush of
people poured through the door and blended into the crowd. In spite
of our group?s precinct captain?s protest, the precinct chair
insisted on a recount and that the new undocumented arrivals were "on
the honor system" and legitimate.  Suddenly, our group lost
viability, as others gained it. Another long-time precinct captain
told me she did not recognize half the people who turned up at her
caucus location.  When I asked her if the newcomers were checked out
or were registered, she shrugged her shoulders, "I hope so; it was
too chaotic to know for sure."  In another precinct, our group was
denied viability after "re-alignment", apparently at the whim of the
precinct chair who supported a different candidate?s group. I
wondered if this sort of "caucus irregularity" was happening across
the state or just in this one remote locale.

       Musing somberly over the questionable fairness of the process
and the validity of any so-tallied results about to be blasted
world-wide by the nation?s media, I ordered a plate of fettucine
alfredo at the bar?s restaurant.  After the third bite, I noticed the
food tasted strange. I looked down and saw it was macaroni and
cheese.  A metaphorical image flashed in my brain.  The American
public and the world, ordered and expected high class fettucine at
the Iowa Caucus but got misled with macaroni and cheese instead.  Why
should the public accept this Caucus falsehood any more than a
second-rate plate of food masquerading as the real thing?  Send back
the food! Demand the truth about a skewed process that in reality
represents the preferences of only a very tiny percent of a
non-representative, homogeneous population anyway.  No one will ever
know who truly won this Caucus -- by landslide, or by a nose. I worry
that it may be the high point of the 2004 Presidential Campaign. As I
took the train home to California, I considered not ordering any more
fettucine. Certainly not in Iowa.

Alexi Bonifield is a freelance writer in northern California and
passionate advocate of the American democratic process