the buck finally stops...

["Devine, James" <jdevine@xxxxxxx>]

The Borowitz report -
BUSH BLAMES ECONOMY ON SOMEONE NAMED HADLEY
Mid-level Bureaucrat Caused Massive Job Losses, President Alleges

Stephen Hadley, the mid-level bureaucrat who last week took the blame
for the controversial sixteen words in President Bush's State of the
Union Address, suffered another setback tonight as Mr. Bush blamed Mr.
Hadley for the struggling state of the U.S. economy.

Mr. Bush made the extraordinary accusation during a nationally televised
speech devoted to the failings, errors and screw-ups of the beleaguered
Mr. Hadley.

"Every President must tell the nation where the buck stops," Mr. Bush
said. "In this administration, the buck stops at Hadley."

Saying that Mr. Hadley was responsible for the nation's weak job
numbers, lagging production and the anemic stock market, Mr. Bush added,
"Stephen Hadley owes each and every American a full apology."

Aides to the President, while agreeing with Mr. Bush's decision to blame
the economy on Mr. Hadley, expressed surprise at the ferocity of the
President's attack.

"I know Hadley wrecked the economy and all, but the President really
ripped him a new one," one aide said.

Dr. Kenneth Childs, head of the Economics Department at the University
of Minnesota, said today that it was "highly unlikely" that one
mid-level bungler could ruin an economy the size of the U.S.'s.

"But if anyone could do it, it's Hadley," Mr. Childs was quick to add.
"What a loser."

In a related story, Mr. Hadley accepted "full responsibility" for the
dissolution of Liza Minnelli's marriage, the spiraling violence in
Liberia, and "Gigli," the upcoming film starring Ben Affleck and
Jennifer Lopez.

------------------------
Jim Devine jdevine@xxxxxxx &  http://bellarmine.lmu.edu/~jdevine