[PEN-L:125] If microsoft built cars

[DOUG ORR <DORR@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

 Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto
 industry.He stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the
 computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar
 cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

 In response, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM
 had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars
 with the following characteristics:

     1.  For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

     2.  Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have
         to buy a new car.

     3.  Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason,
         and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

     4.  Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would
         cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case
         you would have to reinstall the engine.

     5.  Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
         "Car95"or "CarNT."  But then you would have to buy more seats.

     6.  Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable,
         five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run
         on five percent of the roads.

     7.  The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be
         replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light.

     8.  New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

     9.  The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

     10.  Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
          out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the
          door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

     11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
         Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they
         neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option
         would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or
         more.
         Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice
         Department.

     12.  Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to
          learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls
          would operate in the same manner as the old car.

     13.  You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.