Time for Some Relief

[Wojtek Sokolowski <sokol@xxxxxxx>]

>Return-path: <wilkeas@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>Date: Tue, 31 Mar 1998 11:36:21 -0600
>From: Arthur Wilke <wilkeas@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>Subject: Time for Some Relief
>X-Sender: wilkeas@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>To: Wojtek Sokolowski <sokol@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>
>Wojtek:
>
>Following up with your comments about non
>problems related to warranties, the following
>provides a bit of relief.
>
>Arthur
>
>-------------------------------------------------
>
>>Subject: Warranty Cards
>>
>>
>>[And you thought that those stupid cards that you fill out and send back for
>>your new TV to validate the warranty are bad? Whether or not this is true, I
>>still like it...Read on.....-OKK]
>>
>>
>>This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an
>>employee there who obviously has a sense of humor.
>>
>>The company made the web department take it down immediately.  (In case you
>>don't know: McDonnell Douglas is one of the world's chief suppliers of
>>military aircraft).
>>
>>--------
>>
>>Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas (now Boeing)  military
>>aircraft.
>>
>>In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill
>>out the warranty registration card below.  Answering the survey questions is
>>not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that
>>best meet your needs and desires.
>>
>>1. [_] Mr.  [_] Mrs.  [_] Ms.  [_] Miss  [_] Lt. [_] Gen.  [_] Comrade [_]
>>Classified  [_] Other
>>First Name: ......................................................
>>
>>Initial: ........
>>Last Name: .....................................................
>>Password: .............................. (max 8 char)
>>Code Name:......................................................
>>Latitude-Longitude-Altitude:...........  ...........  ..........
>>
>>2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
>>[_] F-14 Tomcat
>>[_] F-15 Eagle
>>[_] F-16 Falcon
>>[_] F-117A Stealth
>>[_] Classified
>>
>>3. Date of purchase
>>(Year/Month/Day): 19....... / ....... / .......
>>
>>4. Serial Number:
>>.................................................
>>
>>5. Please check where this product was purchased:
>>[_] Received as gift / aid package
>>[_] Catalog showroom
>>[_] Independent arms broker
>>[_] Mail order
>>[_] Discount store
>>[_] Government surplus
>>[_] Classified
>>
>>6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
>>product you have just purchased:
>>[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
>>[_] Store display
>>[_] Espionage
>>[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
>>[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
>>[_] Was attacked by one
>>
>>7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your
>>decision  to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
>>[_] Style / appearance
>>[_] Speed / maneuverability
>>[_] Price / value
>>[_] Comfort / convenience
>>[_] Kickback / bribe
>>[_] Recommended by salesperson
>>[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
>>[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
>>[_] Backroom politics
>>[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>>
>>8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
>>[_] North America
>>[_] Central / South America
>>[_] Aircraft carrier
>>[_] Europe
>>[_] Middle East
>>[_] Africa
>>[_] Asia / Far East
>>[_] Misc. Third World countries
>>[_] Classified
>>
>>9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to
>>purchase in the near future:
>>[_] Color TV
>>[_] VCR
>>[_] ICBM
>>[_] Killer Satellite
>>[_] CD Player
>>[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
>>[_] Space Shuttle
>>[_] Home Computer
>>[_] Nuclear Weapon
>>
>>10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check
>>        all that apply:)
>>[_] Communist / Socialist
>>[_] Terrorist
>>[_] Crazed
>>[_] Neutral
>>[_] Democratic
>>[_] Dictatorship
>>[_] Corrupt
>>[_] Primitive / Tribal
>>
>>11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
>>[_] Deficit spending
>>[_] Cash
>>[_] Suitcases of cocaine
>>[_] Oil revenues
>>[_] Personal check
>>[_] Credit card
>>[_] Ransom money
>>[_] Traveler's check
>>
>>12. Your occupation:
>>[_] Homemaker
>>[_] Sales / marketing
>>[_] Revolutionary
>>[_] Clerical
>>[_] Mercenary
>>[_] Tyrant
>>[_] Middle management
>>[_] Eccentric billionaire
>>[_] Defense Minister / General
>>[_] Retired
>>[_] Student
>>
>>13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the
>>interests and activities in which you and your spouse  enjoy participating
>>on a regular basis:
>>[_] Golf
>>[_] Boating / sailing
>>[_] Sabotage
>>[_] Running / jogging
>>[_] Propaganda / disinformation
>>[_] Destabilization / overthrow
>>[_] Default on loans
>>[_] Gardening
>>[_] Crafts
>>[_] Black market / smuggling
>>[_] Collectibles / collections
>>[_] Watching sports on TV
>>[_] Wines
>>[_] Interrogation / torture
>>[_] Household pets
>>[_] Crushing rebellions
>>[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
>>[_] Fashion clothing
>>[_] Border disputes
>>[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>>
>>Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers
>>will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you
>>better in the future - as well as allowing you to
>>receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments,
>>extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.
>>
>>Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
>>
>>McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
>>Marketing Department
>>Military Aerospace Division
>>St. Louis, MO
>
>