[Marxism] Meet the Press in Hell

[Louis Proyect <lnp3@xxxxxxxxx>]

June 7, 2006
Meet the Press in Hell

Imagine if you will a network news program where the host believes that his 
obligation as a journalist is to place evil on the same footing as good (so 
that evil will stop complaining about how the media always favors good). 
Tonight on Media Twilight Zone, we will visit just such a program.

Yes, inspired by Ann Coulter?s recent appearance on NBC News (and many 
similar occurrences), Scott came up with this little eschatological drama, 
which is submitted for your approval.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Tim Russert: Thank you for joining us. Today on our panel we?re proud to 
have bestselling author and Constitutional expert Ann Coulter, and author 
and internet sensation Michelle Malkin. Our guest in studio this morning is 
Jesus Christ, leader of the Heavenly Host. Joining us by satellite is his 
opponent, Bob Satan, Chairman of the National Republican Committee for a 
New World Order, and author of the bestselling guides to conservative 
parenting, ?Fatherhood: of All Lies? and ?O-Me! O-My! O-Men! Raising 
Antichrists That Liberals Will Hate.? He joins us from the Green Zone in 
Megiddo. Mr. Satan, thank you for being here.

Satan: Always a pleasure, Tim.

Russert: Mr. Satan, let?s start with you. Yesterday the New York Times 
reported that forces of the New World Order swept through a village, burned 
it to the ground, then decapitated every man, woman and child who lived 
there. They hung the victims by their heels until they were utterly 
desanguinated, then the soldiers made sausage from their blood and threw a 
large pancake breakfast while dogs and vultures feasted on the flesh of the 
innocent. This has caused some on Capitol Hill to question whether we have 
a clear strategy for victory. How would you respond?

Satan: Tim, this is just the Left?s way of saying, fine, let?s just cut and 
run. We shouldn?t even be in Armageddon, we shouldn?t even be fighting a 
battle to bring about the end of the world.

Russert: So you think this story is mostly partisan.

Satan: Absolutely! Look, this is war. We?re fighting an enemy that is 
determined to utterly destroy us and rule for a thousand years. If these 
allegations turn out to be true, then we may have a few bad apples in the 
barrel. But 99.9999% of our troops are doing a great job day after day, 
under incredibly difficult circumstances. And sometimes, in the stress of 
the moment, some of them may snap and make bloodwurst out of children. Can 
any of us honestly say that, given the same circumstances, we wouldn?t do 
the same thing?

Jesus: Yes! There are clear?

Satan: Well, look who?s casting the first stone.

Jesus: ?clear rules of engagement design to prevent this kind of?

Russert: Mr. Christ, let him finish.

Satan: Look, the point is that there are lots of people who may have 
sincerely held beliefs about whether it?s appropriate to grind 
noncombatants into sausage, but I hardly think that Mr. Christ?s record 
entitles him to get holier than thou on the topic of children.

Jesus: That?s the most outrageous?

Russert: I?m sorry, we?ve got to take a break, but we?ll let you finish 
that thought when we come back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK. FADE BACK UP ON MTP STUDIO, WHERE TIM RUSSERT IS 
STRIPPED TO THE WAIST AND SCOURGING HIMSELF WITH A NAIL-STUDDED LEATHER PLAIT).

Russert: Thanks again for joining us on ?Meet the Press.? Now, I want to 
get back to Jesus
Christ?

Jesus: Thank you, Tim. As I was?

Russert: What do you say to those people who claim you?re a pedophile?

Jesus: What?!

full: http://world-o-crap.com/blog/?p=42

--

www.marxmail.org


________________________________________________
YOU MUST clip all extraneous text before replying to a message.
Send list submissions to: Marxism@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Set your options at: http://lists.econ.utah.edu/mailman/listinfo/marxism