[Marxism] CAPITALISM

[Octob1917@xxxxxxx]

Dear ALL
>
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
> You have 2 cows.
> You sell one and buy a bull.
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> You sell them and retire on the income.
>
> AMERICAN CAPITALISM:
> You have 2 cows.
> You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
> credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
> debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
> 4 cows back, with a tax exemption for 5 cows. The milk rights of the 6
> cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company
> secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all
> 7 cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company
> owns 8 cows, with option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new
> president of the United States , leaving you with 9 cows. No balance
> sheet provided with the release. The public buy your bull. AN
> AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows.
> You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of 4 cows. You are
> surprised when the cow drops dead.
> A FRENCH CORPORATION:
> You have 2 cows.
> You go on strike because you want 3 cows.
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
> You have 2 cows.
> You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
> produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images
> called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
> A GERMAN CORPORATION:
> You have 2 cows.
> You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk
> themselves.
> A BRITISH CORPORATION:
> You have 2 cows.
> Both are mad.
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
> You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are.
> You break for lunch.
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
> You have 2 cows.
> You count them and learn you have 5 cows.
> You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
> You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
> A SWISS CORPORATION:
> You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
> You charge others for storing them.
> A CHINESE CORPORATION:
> You have 2 cows.
> You have 300 people milking them.
> You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest the newsman
> who reported the numbers.
> A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
> You have 2 cows.
> That one on the left is kinda cute.
>
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