Trent Lott reviews Lord of the Rings part 2

[Louis Proyect <lnp3@xxxxxxxxx>]

www.mrcranky.com

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Cranky guest reviewer: Trent Lott.

First, I would like to extend the warm hand of friendship to all readers
of this column no matter what color they might be and repeat once again
that segregation is bad, immoral and the work of Satan. The only reason
I said what I said at Strom Thurmond's birthday party is because I was
trying to humor an old man and because I think one of his aides slipped
a "Roofie" in my drink.

Now, this is the sequel to "The Fellowship of the Ring," which was the
first movie in a trilogy of "The Lord of the Rings" by J.R.R. Tolkien.
What happened in that first movie is that Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood)
got hold of this ring and he's trying to destroy it because it's evil.
He's on a quest with his buddy Sam (Sean Astin) to take the ring to
Moordor, where they'll throw it in the fires of Mount Doom. However,
Saruman (Christopher Lee) is putting together this huge ol' army of
Orcs, who are dark-skinned and obviously going to overrun Middle Earth
and have sex with all the white Hobbit women and elves unless somebody
stops them.

So, in the second film, Gandalf the White (Ian McKellen) shows up. We
know he's good because he's white as a bed sheet, like the kind you use
to cover your head when you're participating in activities where you
might not want people to recognize who you are. His mission is to help
Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen) stop the Orc advance on Rhohan. Unfortunately,
the King of Rhohan (Bernard Hill), believes in the integration of rich
and poor, black and white, and doesn't see the Orc army as an immediate
threat. However, after a few battles, the King of Rhohan realizes that
the Orcs are going to kill darn near everybody, so he takes his people
to Helm's Deep to put up a fight against this black plague.

Even though Helm's Deep is a fortress, Aragorn realizes that they will
need reinforcements, so he and Legolas (Orlando Bloom) hope for some
Elvish help. Aragorn is still in love with Arwen (Liv Tyler), but Elron
(Hugo Weaving), sees the many problems with this as Aragorn is human and
Arwen is Elvish and when you start mixing blood like that all you're
going to have is trouble and little freaky children running all over
place with no clue what race they belong to. See, if Elron had just
prevented Aragorn and Arwen from dating in the first place, he could
have avoided all these sorts of problems, which is why he originally
enrolled Arwen at Bob Jones University (she later withdrew against his
will).

While all this is going on, Pippin (Billy Boyd) and Merry (Dominic
Monaghan), two hobbits who are a little too close and have girls' names
(if you know what I mean), are hanging out with these tree people,
trying to convince them to enter the fight against the black plague.
Eventually, the trees do fight against the black plague because they
understand what a threat it represents. It's pretty obvious that even
the trees prefer the small, white Hobbits to the ugly, black Orcs.

After a fierce battle, the black plague was soundly defeated and
Saruman's plans foiled. I really liked this movie.




--

The Marxism list: www.marxmail.org



~~~~~~~
PLEASE clip all extraneous text before replying to a message.