Re: [Fwd: Re: AUT: Re: Selma James Name Change]

[Katha Pollitt <kpollitt@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Dear Harald --
  I think you've made wonderful contributions to this list, and I
respect your opinion very much. but I don't think  we're discussing
Selma James' life (in passing, you know, really not so much) just to be
mean. You have to admit, it's pretty amusing that a woman who becomes
the  thirty-years-younger third wife of a certified great man of the
left   takes on  as her issue the lack of social value accorded to
housework.  If her husband had respected housework more, maybe he'd
still be married to wife one or wife two!

  As for women insisting on keeping the housework to themselves -- well,
sure, many women have been  brought up to think that way, but how often
do husbands really INSIST on doing their share?  I query your picture of
men fighting to do the housework and being thwarted in this noble
endeavor by women jealous of their turf. Most Swedish men don't even
take paternity leave! So how likely is it they demand to take charge of
the laundry?   Besides, often those houseproud women's husbands are
slobs whose idea of "helping" actually does make more work. Arlie
Hochschild, in her excellent book the Second Shift, documents exactly
how it is that women end up shouldering this burden "willingly."
  The truth is, some aspects of housework can be pleasurable and
satisfying  (so they say). But nobody likes to clean the toilet.  If a
man just gets into the bathroom and cleans it, without making a huge
fuss or using it as a bargaining chip, and without leaving an even
bigger mess than when he started , a woman will adore him!
  I do feel bad, though, that Selma James, a woman, is the only person
whose biography has been mentioned  on this list as possibly suggesting
a problem with that person's ideas. Maybe we should gossip more, though,
not less.


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