[A-List] US: Amusing Korean Editorial

["Biff Aurelius" <moffassal@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Article first appeared at:
http://www.koreaherald.co.kr/SITE/data/html_dir/2003/07/22/200307220031.asp

Korea Herald Editorial
2003.07.22


As everyone knows, CIA director George Tenet fell on his sword to save
President Bush. He took the blame for the president, who said in his State
of the Union address that Iraq had bought uranium from Niger.

It was a noble thing to do, and the good news is, Tenet was assured that if
he took the blame for the foul-up he would not lose his job.

How he became the goat is a top-secret story. The main role of the White
House is to protect the president. Everyone in the Administration is aware
of this, and when Bush does something that is politically incorrect, his
damage control team goes into high gear.

"All the President's Men,'' as they are known in the White House,
immediately met to decide who would be chosen to fall on his sword. The
minutes of the meeting have been leaked to the press.

One advisor said, "How about Colin Powell? He said the same thing in front
of the United Nations that the president said in his State of the Union
speech. How come he's getting a free ride?''

"We're saving him to fall on his sword when the president declares war on
Syria. Besides, if we blame him, he will refuse to go on 'Meet the Press.'''

"Why don't we say Don Rumsfeld put the phrase in the president's speech so
Congress will give the defense department more money? A nuclear threat is
always worth an extra $150 billion.''

"Rumsfeld will never admit he has done anything wrong. He is one of the
biggest architects of the war in Iraq and he is certain Saddam still has
weapons of mass destruction somewhere in the country. I don't think we
should mess with him.''

"What about Vice President Cheney? He was supposed to find out if Niger was
sending uranium to Iraq.''

"Cheney is not a big enough name. The public is not certain who he is when
they see him on television.''

"Has anyone thought of Tony Blair? His intelligence people are the ones that
got the president in trouble in the first place.''

"Good idea. Blair owes Dubya a big one.''

"The president would never go for it. Blair is the only person he can count
on.''

All the President's Men kept noodling.

"Do we have anybody in the Cabinet who could fall on his or her sword?''

"Ashcroft?''

"No. If we blame him, he'll claim it was a terrorist plot within the
Administration.''

"I guess our only choice is George Tenet. As director of the CIA, his duty
was to vet President Bush's speech. The fact that Niger turned up in the
State of the Union speech makes him the most plausible candidate.''

"Does he have a sword?''

"If he doesn't, Rumsfeld could lend him one.''

One of the President's Men then said, "We have to move on and decide whom we
can blame for the trillion dollar deficit.''


(Tribune Media Services)

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